Entry 1: Pool Party evolves into Punk Rock rioting before I fly to a Rave

Lucidity Level: 2

This entry is from a couple nights ago because I’ve been a little lazy and haven’t been recording my dreams properly over the past two days. One of the best ways to fine tune dream recall is by keeping a dream journal. When you first awake you want to record what happened as soon as possible, before forgetting the details, then re-read your entry before you go back to sleep (whether it be right then or that night). This particular night was normal for me. No sleep paralysis (if you are following this blog you will see that sleep paralysis almost always guarantees a level 3 for me). 

Family Pool Party

I found myself at a pool party at a one story 50’s style California-style suburban home. The house and backyard resembled a family friend’s that hosts a 4th of July party in the city I grew up in. My family was there but I can’t recall who’s house it was that we were at, just that everyone was having a good time grilling and playing games in the backyard. My grandfather (who is an avid golfer) thought it’d be fun to chip some golf balls into the pool. Seemed like a good idea to me, so he, another guest, and I started whacking them into the pool. I have no idea why but this “game” was called charades. Everyone at the party would say things like “oh you guys are going to play some charades?” and within the dream I automatically recognized it as whacking golf balls into a pool. Somebody whacked a golf ball into the neighbor’s yard that was separated by an iron bar gate. When this happened everyone started talking about how “oh he’s an asshole good luck getting the ball back”. I approached the gate to retrieve the ball where it was just hovering and spinning a little past the gate. I stuck my golf club in to try to scoop it back to our side when the neighbor got home. My grandpa decided to distract him for me so he inquired about where he had been. The neighbor lit up and started talking about how he was on a date and it went extremely well while I retrieved the ball. After this everyone got into the pool where we started playing cards (I have no idea what game) with an oversized deck that resembled those big cards magicians use sometimes. Everyone was throwing their cards down (we’re all in the pool mind you) and then it was my turn. I looked at my hand and found my cards were torn to pieces. I tried matching them back up but the numbers didn’t look right and the cards had weird designs all over them. This is when I transitioned to lucidity. I’ve found that numbers are usually extremely messed up when you look at them or try to read them in dreams. I haven’t done any research into why but I do know a common reality check for other dreamers is to check a clock or watch because they always read wrong, I’m curious as to if maybe the two are related. Once I realized I was in a dream I decided to explore my environment. I got out of the pool and hopped the back wall.

Punk Rock Riots

It was suddenly night and on the other side of the wall I found a street. At the end of the street there was a T intersection and a couple of dilapidated buildings lining the street that was intersecting. I walked towards them as there were huge crowds of people on the sidewalks in front of the buildings. On my left and right were open empty fields. They had fencing around them that looked like maybe a music festival was being set up. When I got to the buildings it was obvious there were multiple concerts being held in them, and judging by the crowds waiting to get in, they were punk rock bands.The police were on the streets observing and trying to keep people out of the street. I was exploring and it seemed that all of the sudden the concerts got shut down because people started flooding outside and walking away. One guy emerged with tattoos all over his arms and said to a kid on the street, “I told you guys not to hang out in front of the venue! Now look! The police are here!”. I started leaving the area as things looked like they were over and noticed across from the field from before was another gate with a massive amount of people behind it trying to push it down. A couple other people ran up and tried push against it to keep it from falling over but the mob of people on the other side was too big and they broke through. I ran into the field where the music festival was being set up to try to avoid being stampeded and it quickly filled up with others who just broke down the fence. It was really cramped so I jumped up and started flying. I flew over the field and people were still flooding in from the broken down gate, they saw me flying and random concert goers would stick their hands up so I’d give them a high five as I was flying over them. One of my childhood friends was there and he got really excited that I could fly. I started doing tricks in the air for him and then he sang me a song about flying (I can not remember the lyrics :[ ). 

Going to a Rave for Sex

I decided to fly over one of the buildings that was hosting the punk rock concerts from before and on the other side was another long building. Out front of the building was a massive swing set that had to be at least two stories tall. I began to practice flying (I find myself struggling with technique of flying in my dreams, flying is extremely common for me) when I noticed that the long building was hosting a rave. I could see ravers coming out of the building and thought it might be fun to go inside and try to have sex with a woman. I landed and began walking up the path to the entrance of the building and started scoping women out. One lady from the distance looked pretty good but as she approached I realized she was a lot older. She seemed nervous as she was approaching me (like she knew my intentions) and hurried past. I entered the building and the party was popping off. Everyone was drunk and having a great time. I entered a room to my right to begin looking for women to have sex with. The room was small and led to the main room but there were a couple people in there being silly and having fun with each other. Before I entered the main room I decided to verify I was in a dream (I didn’t want to force myself onto any women if it wasn’t) by asking them what year it was. I recalled something about dream characters not being able to give the proper answer when inquired about this. One of the girls started giggling and said “Can you believe what this guy is asking me? How much Addarall did we take tonight?”. I was pretty sure that I was in fact dreaming but decided to push the question further. I turned to her friend and said very sternly, “What year is it? What is the date?”. All three girls, though before seemed to be having an extremely good time, began to get extremely uncomfortable. The girl I had just directed my question at began pacing and looking very frantic. She was looking at the ground and walking back and forth extremely fast. I knew the question was uncomfortable for them but I was very intent on getting some kind of answer. I then restated at the girl pacing, “What year it?”. She snapped and got very upset. She came at me, picked me up by my throat, pushed me up against the wall, and yelled at me with a very “demonic” expression on her face “Don’t ever ask us that again!”. I had a feeling I had crossed a line. I felt like I had just made my dream characters come to terms with the fact they were dream characters and they were having an existential crisis. Like they knew that I was really close to achieving complete awareness and if I did they knew that there was a high probability of me waking up and them disappearing. I felt really awful so I began to stutter, “I’m sorry… I just… I didn’t know…” trying to avoid any inclination of them being dream characters. They seemed to relax but were sad, because at this point everything started to fade to black. I became extremely aware and was having trouble maintaining stability because of the shock of her violent reaction. That’s when I awoke.

Dream Journal Preface

    I am a natural lucid dreamer. For anyone not familiar with the phenomenon, lucid dreaming is any dream in which one is aware one is dreaming [1]. I’ve had incredible dream recall since I was very young, often times remembering 2-3 dreams a night, and have had an ability to achieve lucidity since a young age. It wasn’t until highschool when I began to start experiencing sleep paralysis that I realized this wasn’t a normal phenomenon. I struggle with sleep paralysis frequently, though it does not scare me like it once did, and have found sleep paralysis is a sure sign of achieving lucidity. In these recent months I’ve resolved to practice and refine my technique, in order to exercise control of my dreams. There are many communities and resources online dedicated to the skill of lucid dreaming /r/luciddreaming being my community of choice.

Early Development of Lucid Dreaming

Though I’m not too sure why my dream recall has always been sharp, I do remember the events that lead to the development of my ability to achieve awareness in my dreams. When I was really young, maybe four, I remember watching an episode of Barney that scared me (go figure). In the episode there was a bear that lived in a cave who wore yellow pajamas. I’m not too sure what happened in the episode but I remember being extremely afraid of that bear. I was plagued until the age of 7 with a recurrent nightmare (that in reflection may have actually been sleep paralysis) in which I would awake in my bed, I could see the clock on my night stand and it would always read 3:00am, but I would find myself unable to move and extremely afraid. This bear in yellow pajamas would come in to my room and drag me down to hell where he’d make me exercise (I know, horrific). After so many years of this recurrent nightmare I learned that if this bear was in my room then that probably meant I was asleep. That’s when I learned how to achieve awareness. I drove the nightmares away by standing up to this bear when he’d be in my room. This would usually consist of cursing and tough guy talk, telling the bear I wasn’t afraid of it because I knew I was dreaming. I haven’t had that nightmare since I was 7. 

On Sleep Paralysis

I began to experience sleep paralysis quite often in highschool, dealing with the hormonal anxieties of being a teenager. Often times it would consist of a ghost, not a visible one, just a presence I could feel. That ghost wouldn’t really do anything except make me terribly afraid, except for one instance when I recall it picking me up by my penis and dragging me to another room. I’ve learned, like I did with the bear, how to recognize when I’m experiencing sleep paralysis. If I feel that presence, I know i’m dreaming, and this, in my experience, almost always guarantees a false awakening into a lucid dream. 

Why Lucid Dreaming is Important to Me

I’ve recently found that I can develop my skill to make my lucid dreams more detailed, and put myself in control of my dream. I became interested in refining the skill purely for the ability to live out fantasies. I have two fetishes (Feederism and Expansion) that I do not practice in real life because of the unhealthy, unrealistic, and debilitating nature of them. They are fantasies though, and to me, mastering lucid dreaming seemed like a great way to exercise them. So my involvement with lucid dreaming was inspired by sexual fantasy, but I’ve learned recently that by maintaining consciousness, there’s a lot more detail and fun to lucid dreaming. It’s exhilarating, and though I am working to an end goal of being able to practice my fetish within my dream environment, I often find myself exploring, manipulating, and really just enjoying the ride of my journey into the subconscious mind.

Disclaimer

Given the nature of dreams, this blog may get dark at times. In my waking life I am a polite, mild mannered, friendly, and EXTREMELY curious person. However, sometimes I like to explore sex and violence in my dreams, so please, if there are readers out there, be aware that this blog is purely fantasy. I could never condone or exercise the things I do in my dreams, however, I do believe delving into that dark part of me in my dreams is a very healthy and natural thing to do. I am opening up to anyone who is interested and am giving 100% honesty as I explore myself.

Levels of Awareness

I intend on including a ranking of my dreams. I have found there are different levels of lucidity. 1 will mean I was not lucid (aware I was dreaming) and was simply along for the ride, these dreams are harder for me to recall properly. 2 will mean I was aware I was dreaming but not in control, these dreams tend to be a little fuzzy and not as detailed. 3 will mean I was extremely aware and was experiencing sounds, sensations, feelings, and emotions, these dreams tend to be incredibly detailed and I am conscious throughout them, they are truly a battle between my conscious and unconscious mind.